Mid July I was let go by my agent. It was a shock but she was very lovely about it. And maybe it was a long time coming? I hadn't had an face to face audition in over a year. I had also moved back to Brisbane to finish post-production on my feature film. And I am moving overseas in November. But there is something very disheartening about losing your agent.
In 2011, I started with an agency that didn't show much enthusiasm or commitment for me. In fact, every time I called to ask a question or update them on my progress, I was greeted with a tone of frustration. And then, after being in Sydney for a year, my most recent agency sent me an email, out of the blue, about representing me. I met with her and it was a great match. She is humble, was really positive about our partnership and she really cares for her clients. And so I thought it would be for the long haul. I think that's why it has gotten me a little sad. It doesn't just feel like I've lost an agent, it feels like I've lost a friend. And a friend that once thought I was capable of achieving great things, a friend that really believed in me. And for that reason, there's a part of me that feels unsuccessful now, like I didn't live up to the agreement, and after three years, became a client that was not worth the wait.
I know it's a tough business and agencies de-size all the time. But apart of me always imagined I would be apart of that small group of people, the small few that are indispensable because they have something special that the others don't. But everyone thinks that. And so, I'm just a chump. I'm just another actor that got dropped.
Here is a sad self-test, to give you an idea of how I'm feeling.
As much as I've complained about it, I have no intention of getting a new agent for the time being. I mean for the last six years, I've put it mostly in other people's hands to find me work. Looking back, I probably should have done something else with my time. Over the past few years, I've managed to keep several flexible casual jobs so that at any moment I could be free for an audition. But in six years... I've probably only been through the casting door twelve times. Twelve times! I could have called in sick far more times then that in a regular nine to five. At least then, I might have had money.
This news has changed just about nothing. It's just dampened my mood and overall positive vibe for the acting industry for now. I read a fantastic article online the other day by GQ. Here it is. It talks about the 'new' celebrity and it really gets under your skin. It talks about having a social media following and how those who do are "going in the back door, (while) everyone's trying to get in the front- there's a line outside". Maybe I'm just a grandma, maybe I just like the idea of 'talent shines through', maybe I just need to stop being a prude, take a nudie, upload it and gain 100,000 followers (don't worry I wont do that... I'll probably lose more than I gain). Anyway the point is... read the article. It's fantastic. I hope its all a fad and by the time I'm 30, people have gotten over it.
In other news, the lady of all ladies that has made my 'make a feature' wish come true is having screenings all over Australia in August. The movie is Frisky. The dates are various. And I will be at the Brisbane one on the 29th August. Be there... or regret it. You get to catch up with me and you get to meet the one and only Claudia Pickering and let her inspire you just as much as she has inspired me.
Also, The 8 Tracks have a gig coming up at The Retro Bar on the 2nd of September. Come come. Zombie Bro has a trailer but I haven't posted it up because I've had conflicting views. And I am working lots.
Talk soon! xx May
