A more in depth look into May!
If you haven't already watched my vlog from the first of May. You can get a pretty accurate and quick description of my month plan from there. WATCH HERE. But if you want the long and maybe over explained version of things, I've decided to write it out too (I find reading my previous blogs a lot more fulfilling than watching myself rabbit-on looking directly into camera).
So let's talk about May; My future plans, my current plans, and maybe some of my changing views on life?
I am finally, finally, finally super happy about what I am doing. It does get a little stressful sometimes when an acting audition or shoot pops up and I desperately need to cover a shift. But when it isn't, my job is pure bliss. I currently work five days a week, nannying for three different families. And don't get me wrong, some days I am super tired and some days, the kids are more difficult than usual. One of my worst days so far, ended with the child calling me "stubborn". Ha! But that's it! No more making coffee, no more selling board games and no more retail. I am happy and I will continue on this road as long as I possibly can.
If you've kept up with these blog posts, you've probably read along the way, that I am pretty unhappy in Toronto (sure, 99% of it may be related to having a terrible breakup and relying too much on a man for almost the full duration of being here). And I was planning on moving back home and working on a four year Social Work degree, which, yes, I will accomplish one day. But the other day, my roommate mentioned, "it's funny that you're leaving now when you are finally getting auditions". And she is right, after years and years in Sydney, wallowing over not getting to audition, I am finally getting on average two a week here. I've landed paid shorts and finally a feature film, starring alongside Valter Skarsgard. And the auditions keep coming. So fam, stick with me here, but I am going to stay in Canada. Only this time, I will spending the next two years in Vancouver. Fingers crossed, I put more effort into making it feel like home.
Regardless, I am still coming home to Australia. I am set to arrive in time to watch my high school friend, Bridgette, get married. After that I'll settle back into childcare and kids parties, stay until Christmas, celebrate New Years with the Grehan clan and then finally, when I'm all charged up, set off back to Canada. Living in Sydney, I didn't feel all that disconnected from my family, I guess that's time difference for you. I remember breaking up with David, I was super lucky to have incredible housemates and I was also able to call anyone of my siblings and parents for instant support. I guess that's what has been the hardest about living overseas. I have a few friends but not anywhere close to the network I have back home. I've felt super isolated, and super lonely and bouncing back hasn't been as easy as I'd like it to be. But never fear, I am having my first therapist session because of these feelings in a week. Hopefully that will make me feel a little better.
If you haven't caught on by now, a boy I love very dearly decided to end things early February. It was sad, it is sad but I am ready to move on from it all. Please and thank you. To help, I've been listening to a podcast by Jenn Burton called "Single Smart Female" and oh my god, it is so helpful. So so so helpful, I used to think dating was the worst thing in the world and that if I wait around long enough someone will pop up in my life and everything will be amazing. It doesn't have to be like that, I can have fun meeting many men while dating and not have to settle for anything less than what I am after. Please listen to the podcast, especially if you are in a dating rut. I may still be dealing with my last heartbreak but this podcast has gotten me a lot more confident and optimistic about the future. And I've gotten to meet some pretty amazing men already because of it.
Now, I'm not saying I want to pop any out right this second. But I am finally going to be giving my eggs up in June to a family that needs them. It is super exciting, I've wanted to do this for the past five years but never got around to it and now it is finally happening! Woot! But on the topic of babies... I remember growing up and telling people that I wasn't going to get married and I wasn't going to have children, that I was going to be a famous actor and work on my career instead. But do you know what world? I was wrong. Love changes everything. And age, I guess. And social workers telling you about egg donation possibly affecting your fertility. Alright! It's a mix of things. Anyway, I just wanted to include that this wee-twenty-seven-year-old is getting seriously clucky and I haven't even figured out the man part yet. Bless my soul.
6. Kids Books
Now, this is all still up in the air but I talked to a publisher about my kids book, asking for tips on my books and to my surprise she mentioned the possibility of publishing them under her name. Wowza! I do have to do a little more work on them still though, including changing the title logo, drawing more pictures and adding a map element. This is a super exciting project that I have been working on ever since I went travelling with Merryn, my best gal pal, back in 2016 and I am super excited to see where it takes me (hopefully on free travelling trips around the world). If you did want to check out any of the current books, you can click on either of these countries to watch and listen.
And that's all I really want, need, and feel like writing at this stage. I look forward to seeing how my year pans out and I'll keep updating you on the way.